


When you hold me in your arms

by DaniTsubasa



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Character Death, Crying, F/M, Family, Happy, Happy Ending, Hope, Hopeful Ending, Hugs, Kissing, Missing Persons, Sad, True Love's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 14:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19021510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniTsubasa/pseuds/DaniTsubasa
Summary: Peter lost her three times. And the whole universe no longer makes sense for the lack of a single person, his Gamora.





	When you hold me in your arms

**Author's Note:**

> Guardians of the Galaxy and their characters don't belong to me, I leave the credits to Marvel and James Gunn.
> 
> This same story was posted by me in Nyah Fanfiction.
> 
> *The chapter fanart belongs to Fennethianell.

****  


                Everyone found temporary shelters helping and caring for each other, just as Steve had asked. The guardians were sleeping inside Benatar, parked next to Tony and Pepper's house. Peter walked quietly inside the ship. He saw Rocket and Groot asleep through the half-open bedroom door. The raccoon clung to his adoptive son as if his life depended on it, and yet they both seemed almost to smile. Peter smiled, so happy that they were all together again. However, his smile was soon replaced by the blaze in his eyes. He closed the door quietly and went to the ship's control room, checked once more what he had been secretly researching, he didn't want to talk about her to anyone else for the time being.

                Peter was silent and quiet, and everyone knew why. He was grateful for no one pressing him to speak. For several seconds he stared at her photo, feeling his eyes growing wetter. He had been tracking the entire known universe for hours, and no warning signal had appeared. He transferred the search to his datapad and left the Benatar, sitting alone in the grass of the field. Countless stars shone in the sky, and finally Peter wept. So many times in the four wonderful years that they passed without great problems the two had been lying in the grass of some planet, alone, after all went to sleep, sometimes in silence, sometimes they talked about several things. After hours Gamora would roll to lie on his chest as he stroked her hair and watched the sky in silence. Peter wept alone without making any effort to stop himself. A million things he could tell her were going through his head, but he couldn't speak all of them. It hurt only to think of Gamora.

                “Me too... I love you more than anything,” he said to the stars. “I don't know how to go through all this without you. If it had been me, you would be the new captain of this ship, you're the only one of us who has always had the right mind. You deserved to live, my Gamora. Much more than I do, after everything you've been through. You learned to smile, cry, and even sing and dance with me. We were happier than ever. I'd take a thousand punches from you without caring if I could have you back. I have to find you. You also don't...”

                Peter buried his face in his hands, unable to say anything else, without the slightest idea that he was being watched. Had she told him that she loved him more than anything?! 'You also don't?' How many people had Peter Quill lost before her? Or later? The zehoberi was far away, hidden by the trees, but her cybernetic enhancements allowed her to hear everything perfectly. Nebula had brought her to a world without Thanos, where the two were friends, but where she had a family she didn't even know, a man who certainly loved her more than his own life, whom she couldn't remember, and a teenage tree that loved her almost like an adoptive mother, of whom she also knew nothing.

                 Gamora felt something strange, something that wasn't uncommon to feel. A whirlwind of feelings, but this time some were good. After all she had gone through, it would take her centuries to believe that she had rid herself of Thanos so easily when she was looking for loopholes to escape at the first opportunity, it seemed like a miracle. However, all team members, Guardians of the Galaxy, as she was informed, seemed downcast and out of orbit, especially their leader. She knew she couldn't blame herself for being one of the causes of it, but to see Peter Quill in such a state saddened her in some way.

                Thanos had just heard of the power stone, he'd have sent Ronan behind it, and certainly Gamora and Nebulosa to watch over him or help him. She'd find the supposed orb with the stone first, sell it and flee as far as possible. And in fact that's what she almost did, according to Nebula. Her obstacle was to find Peter Quill between her and her plans and accidentally unite the group of criminals who would become the Guardians of the Galaxy that day, still causing events that added Mantis to the team months later. Nebula had told her about Quill's old reputation, but how different it was when they first met, how he cared for and cared for her as he never did with any other woman, how he risked his life to save hers, how desperate he was when something serious happened to her on some mission, how she became different and was constantly smiling, and to her shock, and Nebula, even dancing and singing.

                Gamora couldn't understand, and she hated not understanding, but she felt some connection with the group, especially with the idiot and dancing Peter Quill, even though her time had been altered before she met them. She saw the half earthen returning to the ship, desolate and sad, still crying. She followed him unnoticed and watched him in the darkness of the interior of the ship until he entered the bedroom, which was initially his, and then of both, information Nebula had also given her.

                “What am I doing here?” She whispered to herself. “I'm free of Thanos, but nothing here makes sense.”

                They loved her, and much. It had been quite apparent in the last few hours that the rest of the crew had also been shocked to see her at the end of the battle, and how much they had been moved by some past history with the fireworks from the celebration hours ago, especially Quill. And Gamora believed that it'd be good to follow with them, she could adjust herself gradually, but the doubt about how to live with Quill consumed her. She knew the soul stone, he would never find who was looking. Without knowing why, she rested her hand on the closed door from where he was, and felt bad for him. She tried to imagine how would be this life Nebula had told her about, being loved and cared for every day. Smiles, music, joy, family... Despite all the battles, uncertainties, risks of life... How she wanted to have those memories of truth.

******

                “Even after Thanos we're in this again,” Drax said, standing next to Peter, who was looking thoughtfully through the window.

                The leader just nodded. Four months had passed since the end of Thanos, but since losing Gamora he had never been the same again. The Benatar had less music, less joy, hardly anyone singing or dancing, and when he did, Peter was often singing something sad or interrupting the song in half because he remembered something painful. Even when everyone was having fun together for some time, now with Thor on the team, the mood was sad at some point when everyone missed Gamora. Often Groot or Peter had begun to cry of nowhere for remember her. Despite constant competition with Peter, even Thor, who had been recovering his former physical form, had been sympathetic in trying to help him get through it. Now they were about to enter a great battle again, again against the annoying, stubborn and pursuers Sovereign, who still wanted revenge for what had happened years ago, more for the destruction of their army of ships, twice, than for Rocket to have stolen their batteries. Ayesha had threatened them personally saying in all letters that she would destroy the Guardians of the Galaxy, even those who didn't belong to the team at that time.

                Rocket stared into the Star Lord's face, seeing the pain in his eyes, and he knew very well why. Every time they had faced a very intense battle, they had lost someone.

                “I’m so sorry, man.”

                Peter lightly stroked the raccoon's head, at a rare moment when Rock didn't try to bite him for it.

                “It’s not your fault.”

                Peter stared at him, to let him know he was telling the truth, and went off somewhere else, leaving Rock and Drax staring each other worried.

                “I am Groot,” the teenager spoke in a sad voice as Peter entered his own room.

                Groot was looking at a picture frame. A photo taken by Drax without them noticing, and they ended up robbing for them afterwards. It had been on a sunny day in Xandar, after a dangerous mission, a year before Thanos's death. Peter with an arm around the waist of an incredibly smiling Gamora, while he kissed her face, also smiling.

                - So am I, Groot.

******

                Peter sat against a wall when the battle was over. Ayesha had been killed by Adam Warlock, who had betrayed the Sovereigns at the last moment. All the Guardians watched in shock as their leader held Gamora's body as he cried without caring about anything else. She had come back even before the ship's computer located her. She was watching them from afar several times as she tried to understand and fit into this new, strange, confused life. She had come back to them to assist in the battle against the Sovereigns, being killed by Ayesha herself when she prevented her from ordering an attack that could be fatal to all Guardians and even the nearby population of the planet they were in. The remaining Sovereigns had fled.

                Adam watched the Star Lord from afar, along with the rest of the team. If Gamora had been taken from him, again, they wanted to let Peter have that moment with her, even if it was in pain. The half celestial cried for long minutes as he embraced the lifeless body of the zehoberi. Blood dripped from her lips, as well as other bruises and the fatal wound that had taken her life, right where her heart was. The Guardians crouched around the two, expressing a silent mourning, broken only by Peter's cry. It was terrible to see his leader and friend, and for Mantis his brother too, to have to go through it again. He had lost his mother, then his family, then his father, Yondu, then Gamora. And in addition to everything that happened in the war against Thanos when they met again, now he lost her again. Nebula was also sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall like Peter, crying silently.

                “Let me help.”

                The team looked at Adam Warlock, then at Peter. The Star Lord stared at the golden man, allowing him to lower himself to his side and look at Gamora.

                “She's gone,” Peter said so quietly that the others hardly understood.

                Nebula stared at Adam with a murderous look, ready to react depending on what he did. The rest of the Guardians weren't less apprehensive. Mantis touched Gamora's hand.

                “He's right,” her voice denounced crying. “We lost her.”

                Adam touched the zehoberi's forehead and his eyes began to shine, which reminded them of Carol Danvers when she concentrated much of her power on some attack. The same light spread around Gamora, and Peter felt waves of energy flow through his lover's cold body. He didn't know why, but for a moment it comforted him. Despite her death, Gamora seemed calm. The light faded away, and Adam looked at Gamora for one more second, giving a slight smile and giving a positive nod to anyone in particular before rising. None of the Guardians had understood anything.

                “What did you do with her?!” Nebula questioned.

                “Take care of her.”

                “Where are you going?” Rocket asked.

                “Fix some damage elsewhere.”

                The Guardians stood to follow Adam, but he took a few steps and disappeared like smoke, leaving everyone confused and speechless.

                “What did he mean with this?” Drax asked.

                Peter didn't care what that meant. And nothing else mattered to him now. All he understood was the pain of holding the body of the only woman in the universe with whom he wanted to have a future.

                “I am Groot.”

                “Look...” Thor leaned down beside Peter, speaking softly. “Whatever he meant by that... Let's take care of her. Together.”

                Before Peter answered anything, they were interrupted by the sudden sound of Gamora breathing again, as if she received a shock. Peter set Thor aside and took his free hand to the wound in her heart, hoping she wouldn't kill him for touching her like that, and he felt the regular movement of her breathing, and she didn't react to any pain.

                No matter what Gamora did to him when he regained consciousness, all he could do was cry again and hug her tightly. He felt Mantis's hand touch his shoulder and Thor uttered an exclamation of joy along with the other Guardians.

                “ Gamora...” Peter murmured softly.

                She didn't answer, but her breathing was different for a second, as if she heard him. Peter smiled. If she didn't have the memories that the two of them lived together, It was the least that mattered to him now. He wouldn't let anyone take her from him again.

*****

                Gamora opened her eyes when the cold began to bother her. It was dark, and her heart clenched. She was so hopeful that nothing was more than a terrible nightmare... Then she heard a noise, too close, and got up, being immediately seized by something or someone. She tried to break free and beat whoever it was.

                “Hey.”

                The warrior froze.

                “It's all right.”

                Tears came to her eyes faster than her reasoning managed to unravel what was happening.

                “We're at the hospital. Just the hospital.”

                Peter tried to make her lie down again, but she hugged him and wept, hiding her face in his neck. He looked confused but hugged her back and stroked her hair, patiently waiting for her to calm down, which took several minutes.

                “You need to rest.”

                When her eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, she noticed the bedroom she was in, indeed a hospital. The dim light from the bedroom came from the window outside the hospital, it seemed to be on the second floor. And they were alone. Gamora didn't understand anything else. She was in Vormir, dying. Alone, with cold, pain, and the greatest sadness she'd ever felt in her life. She remembered being in a strange place, with an infinite ocean and an eternal orange light. And suddenly she was regaining her senses in Peter's arms, and he couldn't stop crying as he hugged her. She took one of her hands into his ginger hair, the other tightened her grip on Peter. She could feel that he was tense, and she didn't know why.

                “My Star Lord,” she whispered to him.

                This time it was Peter who took a deep breath and froze in her arms. He shuddered, then relaxed, and slid his fingers through her hair slowly, as if he didn't believe what was happening.

                “Gamora?” There was crying in his voice. “My Gamora?”

                “It’s me.”

                “Hi,” Peter spoke in the most gentle way she had ever heard, he was smiling. “I can't believe it's you,” he chuckled. “It's you," he repeated happily and relieved as she had ever seen.”

                “Me,” she laughed as she squeezed her eyes still wet.

                It didn't matter now what had happened. Her nightmare was over, at least for now. For an instant, she was back safely in his arms. At least she hoped so.

                “This is a dream?”

                “No,” the smile she could hear in Peter's voice was contagious.

                He released her from his embrace to look at her. Gamora saw a thousand good and bad emotions flow through his eyes all at once. Peter cupped her face in his hands and pressed his forehead to hers. Gamora stroked his cheek.

                “I thought I'd never see you again. He killed me.”

                “I know, honey” he replied with regret.

                “It was cold and dark like this bedroom. And it hurt a lot. All I wanted there was you.”

                “I know... I know, my love. I know.”

                The two of them cried again, wanting a thousand things at once, to kill Thanos in a thousand different ways or disappear from the galaxy so that no one else would ever separate them. Adam had said something about the soul stone when the Guardians knew him, and now Peter had some theories of what he had done to bring Gamora back. It was still confusing, so much information was missing. He had no idea how Adam could have the stone, but he seemed to be as powerful as Captain Marvel, perhaps even more so. However, all that mattered to him now was that Gamora was kissing him, and he never wanted to let her go. How he missed that! He kissed her back as if it were the first time, or as if it were the last, because Peter didn't doubt that his life depended on it now.

                “I love you,” he said as they parted. “I love you so much. I love you more than anything.”

                “I know, my Star Lord,” she laughed as she was hugged tightly once more.

                They both closed their eyes, and they could stay like this forever. But Peter released her gently and made her lie down again, not being able to not accompany her with the look Gamora gave him. But before he took the blanket left by the nurses and placed it on the sheet. Gamora rested on his chest and closed her eyes, comforting herself with the sound of his heart and the caress in her hair.

                “I want to be like this forever.”

                “Me too. But I'm sure the hospital will kick us out sometime. So we can reinstall in our bedroom.”

                Gamora smiled.

                “Peter... What happened? Thanos... The stone. Nebula. Our family.”

                “Ended. It's all over,” he looked at her and caressed her cheek with his thumb. “You're safe. Never again he'll lay his hands on you. Thanos is dead.”

                Gamora was silent for so long that she began to worry Peter.

                “Mora?”

                “I had strange dreams. With the war, with Thanos, with the Sovereigns, with one such Adam Warlock. Very real dreams. It felt like I was living another life.”

                “It wasn’t a dream. You were.”

                It took Peter almost an hour to tell her everything that had happened since she had been taken from them.

                “I'm sorry that you weren't really there when we won.”

                “Doesn't matter. He's gone, finally. I'm sorry for the kick.”

                Peter laughed.

                “If you knew that it was your property that you were damaging, you'd never have done it, but you beat up before you asked at that time.”

                Gamora laughed, and he laughed together. They would be so happy now. He would never let anyone take her from him again.

                “Where is everyone? And why are we here?”

                “After Adam brought you back, Mantis realized you had no more wounds, but you didn't wake up. So we thought it'd better bring you here. They didn't find anything wrong with you, but they wanted to keep you under observation for the night. Before I go to sleep everyone was sleeping here, they must be in the ship, or in the hospital refectory. It's eight o'clock at night now. Soon the night will pass, and we'll go home.”

                “For home…”

                “Our house, with our family.”

                Gamora smiled and hugged him.

******

                Everything was back to normal, but infinitely better. Without Thanos. And Thor was a good addition to the team. Drax was laughing a lot at something that the god of thunder had just said. Now he was back to his old physical form, and shaved, but with the blond hair still long. Mantis and Nebula were talking about the strangest planets they'd ever known like they've been friends for years. Rocket was playing video game with Groot, however impossible that might seem months ago. Peter pulled his wife by the waist and kissed her. They smiled radiantly at each other.

                The sunny day left their leisurely afternoon in the streets of Xandar even more perfect. They were sitting on the pews of a square at the time. They hadn't even waited a day to get married when Gamora left the hospital months ago.

                “ _Girl, you Just don’t realize what you do to me...”_ Peter sang softly to her. “ _When you hold me in your arms so tight you let know everything is alright,”_ he finished kissing her forehead. “Our children will be so beautiful.”

                Gamora laughed.

                “He Will. Or her.”

                The Star Lord stroked his wife's belly, it wasn't evident yet, and they didn't know if they would have a son or daughter, but they couldn't have wanted another life.

                “I love you.”

                “I love you too,” she replied as Peter smiled and they looked at the magnificent sunny sky, remembering exactly how it all began in Xandar.


End file.
